So, I just woke up. I don't think I'm a bad person. I explained what I did. Go deal with yourself!
I think the fact I said, "Stop," when touching the trays with silverware is what caused people to be ticked off and try to tick me off yet more.
I caught another table looking at me etc. while I ate.
I guess I need to remember even more that people will be meaner to me if I am gooder. I just didn't want that guy to get away with it! I didn't do anything that weird. I sorta followed him and made the little noises. I can't believe how calm, cool, and collected he was with insulting me when I did nothing wrong "yet." He must be passive aggressive.
It was something weird tho and now I have to put up with people thinking I am bad and retreating my relationships.
They just made one of my relationships seem tacky and removed and grouped with others when of my life they have been a great part.
They are making someone talk like someone I knew but piping up in an annoying way, not forming words properly, sounding sleepy, playing it sweet, etc. I guess that's what some people are like. They've done this a lot for awhile.
They have been ruining my capability in how I talk and feel about it at the time at least and then got mad and took something away from a relationship cuz I felt upset. I don't think they had a real reason.
It feels like my life is dysfunctional. It's always, "Stop, drop, and roll," about keeping relationships or not, like if I feel upset or do something rather weird in their opinion.
Some of those judging me actually is unpleasant and provokes me. So, if I am pleasant doesn't mean they are, in a way. It just makes me feel bad.
I am almost done and they made a word stick. They always pipe in like it's Ellen DeGeneres saying what I said doesn't matter if it's about prejudice to me.
I don't wanna put up with this! This is making life hard even more. I don't know what right people have to give me cruel and unusual punishment, tho it's not really in some ways at least. I don't think I'd be arrested. People lied in how they acted about suggesting I did something worse than I did, exaggerating. I think it's cuz my dad does that and was with me. I can't even feel what I done.
So? It feels like I'm not finished here. I decided to try harder to ignore things. I already was doing better at it.