I saw Madea Halloween.
I found my life was spied on after my 1st year of college. I was supposed to be ready to meet a new family and be blonde. I was ousted from my college major by opinion. My new classes were too hard. The spying on me was also in the way. I didn't get my family. Now, I am 10 years older. It seems my parents have been treating me like I'm not me and badly like all the time for things like this. I'm not living with this.
Problems
Friday, October 28, 2016
Getting Away With It / Going Too Far
They said pretty much my deepest relationships are a casual stationed relationship for, like, people I know instead, as tho they make me. It's like some joke.
I feel pressure if I post here, too, from them.
I feel pressure if I post here, too, from them.
You can't ruin my life!
They said they did this and now are acting like they said something else but didn't.
No..
I'm not living by those standards, I am mad and hit something you can hit and not damage in my room and suddenly I can't live like before and feel emotion. They keep picking at me just for saying how I feel! I'm not living like this! I don't see how. What's your problem! I just wanted to post it, and you're getting all technical and talking to me via the Save button.
Sure, those people can do what they want, but you messed up my life. I can't live like this. Why didn't you just let me make my post and leave me alone?
They are adding more mean things after I post this! they always think it's necessary.
If I live by these standards, I will feel bad. It's not okay. They did get mad at me just for talking about it. It's not the kinda thing people wanna talk about with me. I don't need this meanness blasted at me.
What is their use?
They are bothering me now acting like someone I look up to is acting stupid and silly to annoy me.
I didn't do anything wrong! Why should I be picked on? They are affecting my real life for sport.
This is not going well. I feel a punishment in the big picture. I feel watched to make sure I feel bad and stuff.
So many damned times I come on here I have to worry if they think I'm "in trouble" and gonna bother me via the Save button and how pages load and the ads that show.
This isn't really okay. Who says? I thought I didn't "lose" things for no apparent reason. You flipped the rules so you could be more comfortable. That's not fair to me. That's silly. This seems to be giving people a hard time somehow.
What did I say wrong? Nothing. I didn't beat at anyone. I just wanted to post something, and they made a big deal of it and thought all this maybe what if I did something else instead and act like posting is not important.
I feel as tho no one will like me now cuz I posted so much, but it wasn't bad.
Sure, those people can do what they want, but you messed up my life. I can't live like this. Why didn't you just let me make my post and leave me alone?
They are adding more mean things after I post this! they always think it's necessary.
If I live by these standards, I will feel bad. It's not okay. They did get mad at me just for talking about it. It's not the kinda thing people wanna talk about with me. I don't need this meanness blasted at me.
What is their use?
They are bothering me now acting like someone I look up to is acting stupid and silly to annoy me.
I didn't do anything wrong! Why should I be picked on? They are affecting my real life for sport.
This is not going well. I feel a punishment in the big picture. I feel watched to make sure I feel bad and stuff.
So many damned times I come on here I have to worry if they think I'm "in trouble" and gonna bother me via the Save button and how pages load and the ads that show.
This isn't really okay. Who says? I thought I didn't "lose" things for no apparent reason. You flipped the rules so you could be more comfortable. That's not fair to me. That's silly. This seems to be giving people a hard time somehow.
What did I say wrong? Nothing. I didn't beat at anyone. I just wanted to post something, and they made a big deal of it and thought all this maybe what if I did something else instead and act like posting is not important.
I feel as tho no one will like me now cuz I posted so much, but it wasn't bad.
What's your problem?
They said this is all my fault and want me to feel bad.
They are saying I can't feel emotions a certain way!
They are saying I can't feel emotions a certain way!
They think..
they provide and can retract things from me emotionally like it's theirs and I can't have it.
As I post..
..they are talking to me and acting like someone I like is with other people I know and this is it. There is no reason for me not to post this "or else."
What is the issue?
When I post about something they do to me that ruins my life.
I can't live thinking I cannot punch my punching bag when mad or stop writhing on the sofa when I'm emotionally distressed and tortured, or else, I can't get affection to make me feel okay or feel okay myself. That's what they are stopping.
I can't live thinking I cannot punch my punching bag when mad or stop writhing on the sofa when I'm emotionally distressed and tortured, or else, I can't get affection to make me feel okay or feel okay myself. That's what they are stopping.
Problems
I've been waiting kinda awhile and think it's too late. This is kinda stupid, I get rules that affect my private life.
I was hitting my punching bag and thought of something that made me feel good to do with others. I thought maybe they were talking to me. I didn't stop.
I was writhing on my sofa in frustration how I was being spied on. They mentioned a body part, and now things don't come on as much.
I could have had some big things going for me, but I never agreed to this, these rules. I understand if there is a real reason.
They are proceeding to doing away with my feeling okay.
You know what else, they took off a TV channel to get for now at least that relates to something miraculous that occurred to me, which seems to have been taken from me like it was given possibly.. because it is related to something else that happened supposedly.
All these silly rules cuz they can't think for themselves like I do. It just shows the pressure I get in my private life.
What am I gonna do? Just live and die like I don't matter? That seems to be their proposal for people's lives. My life meant something and it was my responsibility. I was nice to others and cared about them, tho people don't talk much to me.
They keep presenting me with threatening attacks. Like, they go all over and say I did something bad and it's like a lilt that I lost something I never had anyway.
You know, I don't have what I need in life or should have by today's standards. I can't find some rigorous exercise program I can easily access that satisfies me. I am saving money for a trip in November. Maybe, in December of January I can search on.
I feel like I'm gonna crumble, like the Wicked Witch of the West melting.
You know, there are a lotta things that seem right that others pretend is wrong, like me writing this and expecting a full life again.
I was supposed to be liberated. My dad "couldn't do it." People are all afraid of what he really wants, that it doesn't matter if I am hurt because of "the starving kids in Africa" etc. This is quite a problem, tho. I think people have been fighting for this, and it won't relieve itself.
Why can't I take out anger physically like anyone else? I never said anyone could bargain like this with me. What did I bet on? My eminent loss? That it doesn't matter because other people "don't have it?" No, no, no! That's not a new way of how to think. When people have accomplished a lot, they have certain needs, like food.
I don't want to blame anyone, but I don't like how this is going. I feel wounded. Duh, tho, yea?
Basically, I can't feel affection and fun and am being monitored so I don't.
I feel a little silly. I mean, hey, I still have it, my imagination. I'm feeling different, tho, too.
Something I really want is a rigorous exercise program, not so much into "yoga."
I will admit it was hard for me to imagine things. Doesn't your actions and others's opinions of you affect your life personally?
It's just me, pretty innocent, and this happens to me. I really cannot stand it. Maybe, that's the cause of my stress. I had a hard time in college and became something of a dropout. It was clearly when I was being spied on without emotional relief, maybe my fault, but I thought they had something for me soon. I feel I am being punished for flunking college, but I'm over 21. People are nasty to me. I feel like I'm a cat running in circles.
Every time I masturbate, too, the next day seems it could be tough in ways. It seems natural, in a way. I was just humoring myself and decided to do it. Maybe, just the thought I am prohibited at least something makes me aroused. Does exercise help prevent masturbation? Probably, but it's probably not enough of an ingredient to the recipe of preventing arousal from wanting to masturbate.
I'm just depressed, no matter how nice I am no one cares. I have other things like wanting to fix my room more. So, yea, I can't feel accomplished, and I greatly wanted for that. I wonder if I need to change my lifestyle. I know I have laundry from the hurricane. The pills make me sleep so much. My parents said I had to take them.
So, yea, I just wanted to feel a little silly and then I masturbated. I tried sleeping with no TV/music, and it isn't working yet.
I was hitting my punching bag and thought of something that made me feel good to do with others. I thought maybe they were talking to me. I didn't stop.
I was writhing on my sofa in frustration how I was being spied on. They mentioned a body part, and now things don't come on as much.
I could have had some big things going for me, but I never agreed to this, these rules. I understand if there is a real reason.
They are proceeding to doing away with my feeling okay.
You know what else, they took off a TV channel to get for now at least that relates to something miraculous that occurred to me, which seems to have been taken from me like it was given possibly.. because it is related to something else that happened supposedly.
All these silly rules cuz they can't think for themselves like I do. It just shows the pressure I get in my private life.
What am I gonna do? Just live and die like I don't matter? That seems to be their proposal for people's lives. My life meant something and it was my responsibility. I was nice to others and cared about them, tho people don't talk much to me.
They keep presenting me with threatening attacks. Like, they go all over and say I did something bad and it's like a lilt that I lost something I never had anyway.
You know, I don't have what I need in life or should have by today's standards. I can't find some rigorous exercise program I can easily access that satisfies me. I am saving money for a trip in November. Maybe, in December of January I can search on.
I feel like I'm gonna crumble, like the Wicked Witch of the West melting.
You know, there are a lotta things that seem right that others pretend is wrong, like me writing this and expecting a full life again.
I was supposed to be liberated. My dad "couldn't do it." People are all afraid of what he really wants, that it doesn't matter if I am hurt because of "the starving kids in Africa" etc. This is quite a problem, tho. I think people have been fighting for this, and it won't relieve itself.
Why can't I take out anger physically like anyone else? I never said anyone could bargain like this with me. What did I bet on? My eminent loss? That it doesn't matter because other people "don't have it?" No, no, no! That's not a new way of how to think. When people have accomplished a lot, they have certain needs, like food.
I don't want to blame anyone, but I don't like how this is going. I feel wounded. Duh, tho, yea?
Basically, I can't feel affection and fun and am being monitored so I don't.
I feel a little silly. I mean, hey, I still have it, my imagination. I'm feeling different, tho, too.
Something I really want is a rigorous exercise program, not so much into "yoga."
I will admit it was hard for me to imagine things. Doesn't your actions and others's opinions of you affect your life personally?
It's just me, pretty innocent, and this happens to me. I really cannot stand it. Maybe, that's the cause of my stress. I had a hard time in college and became something of a dropout. It was clearly when I was being spied on without emotional relief, maybe my fault, but I thought they had something for me soon. I feel I am being punished for flunking college, but I'm over 21. People are nasty to me. I feel like I'm a cat running in circles.
Every time I masturbate, too, the next day seems it could be tough in ways. It seems natural, in a way. I was just humoring myself and decided to do it. Maybe, just the thought I am prohibited at least something makes me aroused. Does exercise help prevent masturbation? Probably, but it's probably not enough of an ingredient to the recipe of preventing arousal from wanting to masturbate.
I'm just depressed, no matter how nice I am no one cares. I have other things like wanting to fix my room more. So, yea, I can't feel accomplished, and I greatly wanted for that. I wonder if I need to change my lifestyle. I know I have laundry from the hurricane. The pills make me sleep so much. My parents said I had to take them.
So, yea, I just wanted to feel a little silly and then I masturbated. I tried sleeping with no TV/music, and it isn't working yet.
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